metal mama.....

so I found out today that I'll probably be fused from T-2 to the sacrum....I knew I needed help but that's basically all my spine is'nt it??? Plus it sounds like my surgeon will use one of my ribs to help get rid of my 'big hump'....
I do trust my surgeon since he's one of the best(if not the)in the land..but they tell me he'll have an intern working along side him(on me)....did I need to know that??? I don't think so..........................Ly

Beachin' it up.......

Beautiful weather & the boys love the 'surf'......

No more Mall trips.....

I am really not one to shop to much these days but I had to get to the mall for some last minute gifts for my mom. This weekend is her 80th Birthday party and she definiely does'nt lok 80 at all! Of course, these days, you can't tell anyone's age anymore...She's in great shape too. I swear, at this point, my mom could beat me around the block.. She's planning to come up & help me after the operations.. My husband knows she's like having a cleaning woman & by all means wants her to come! I keep picturing my eighty year old mother cleaning the toilets here & it just does'nt sit well with me...Hopefully I'll be drugged up enough & won't care..
Anyway, about the mall... I was pathetic.. I have to say I did start out fairly well & seemed to be zipping around from store to store. But 45 minutes later, I was achey an I needed a tums.. I had such major indigestion & started coughing....Lovely!
By evening, I was so sore & could hardly make it upstairs...
I think I'm done with mall trips......Ly
oh, one other thing.. I was able to pick up 2 cd's. The Beatles hits & The Lettermen. I have old albums & wanted them both on cd's to take with me when I have my MRI next Thursday. Don't ask me why these particular cd's. I guess all I can figure is this 60's music makes me feel relaxed since I've heard it since I was a kid..

Faith......

So I can secretly say here that I am going out in a few minutes to rollerblade..
I have been tempted to for a while, thinking that I may not be able to for quite some time after the operations....It's just so nice out that I can't resist...(Suzy in CA, I'll do a lap for you too!)
I bought the most beautiful purple Salvia's to plant around the house...The butterflies are already floating around the honeysuckle & Herbie has been here twice today at the hummingbird feeder. I'm waiting for the rest of his family to pay a visit...
Days seem to breeze by now & I'm living day by day. Enjoying all I love to do. Not to be too corney but in the last month or so a new inner strength has presented itself to me...a kind of 'peace of mind'about all of this. I'm learning that I'm much stronger than I thought I was and much more patient (ok, give me a B+..) than I ever thought I could be...So now as Carrie Underwood sings( I think she may be my favorite American Idol to date..) "Jesus...take the wheel..." & hopefully faith will steer me from here.........Ly

It was when I was in California last summer that I knew it was time to have my back checked....I was walking around Manhattan Beach & I felt I could'nt keep up with my boys...Maybe next time I'm there I'll be in better shape..........Ly

I've worried all I can worry.....I must be ready!

I finally got some paperwork in the mail yesterday from the Dr's office. All to do with my vitamins, blood donations & upcoming tests...I actually felt better with envelope in hand, walking through the yard, knowing I was almost there...
Because I actually am starting to get a bit bored by all of this.. I can honestly say I have hit the saturation point. I have worried all I can, I have researched on the internet like a mad woman and I have drove my husband absolutely nuts.... Enough I say!
I wonder if they play any music in the operating room? My husband said he hopes they play " Don't worry, Be Happy"(Bobby Mcferrin. He thinks he's such a comedian...LY

End caps of Bendy Straws...it's my lucky day!!!

I went to WalMart & got the deal of a life-time....500 Bendy Straws for a buck..
I have enough straws for me & all my friends for the rest of my life........wheeeee!

My hummingbird.........

So for days now I have had my Hummingbird feeder up & no Hummingbirds for days & days & days..........

Then this morning I go out the backdoor to check out my garden & BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!! He's here & almost damned flew into me & knocked my coffee over! He's so cute I can't believe it...& he's damned fast... He drank out of my feeder but he's really waiting for the honeysuckle to bloom. I hope he's around in all summer so when I'm sitting on my butt he can keep me amused. I think we'll name him Herbie unless my son insists on a Yankees or Rangers name. Somehow he did'nt look like a Jeter or Arod....but maybe a Johnny Damon???? Ly

On the high dive & don't push me.....

Why am I having doubts now???? All along I was positive this surgery was the answer....Is it just that I now have less than 3 months to go & am having cold feet already? Yes, I believe so......I keep picturing myself on the high dive with 10 people on the steps behind me saying...."Jump you idiot, it's your turn"........
Maybe it's because I really have been feeling ok lately. I can't say I've had any horrible pain...anywhere...besides a dull ache at bedtime...Maybe I'm all better & maybe...just maybe the curve has reversed itself from my positive concentration...!
Even eating has been easier & I have'nt had as much acid problems..
My husband asked again at dinner tonight if I have unbearable pain. Recently, I have to say "no". But I will feel bad again I'm sure....or will I? Why is he trying to bait me??? "You saw my x-rays, honey, they're horrible..." augghhhhh!!!
Oh well, I am trying to stay on the straight & narrow here but it ain't easy at all...time to get the boys in bed................Ly

Surgeons are cool.......

So I was listening to a speech by Dr. Mehmet Oz on the computer today....wow! He was saying that they tested several patients during surgery on word association. They hooked them up to earphones & gave them several pairs of words. What do you think of when your hear the word Black? Dr Oz said about 70% normally say "White"... Well they gave the patients in surgery the words Black & Brown as a word pair... When the patients awoke from surgery & recovered, they where asked what do you think of when you hear the word Black??? They all said Brown.... cool!!!
check it out..... at http://www.collaborativespeakers.com/speakers/oz_mehmet.html

gettin' away..........

Well I'm back....
We had a short get-away to a peaceful little town & I really got some R&R.. I slept in each morning & even took naps in the afternoon. We walked but not too far... My husband took the boys out with him for a jaunt one day & left me with my book. It was very relaxing for all of us...& my back did'nt hurt..
It seems to me that if I just lie down/sit for the rest of my life I might avoid what's coming round the bend.... I know that's silly....I guess I can't do that for too long...just thinking of ways out of this, I guess.......LY

More of the beach..........

Blinders please, I'm getting spooked.........

ahhhhh! It was so nice out yesterday that my desire to garden a bit grew too strong & I had to surrender to it. Last night at my son's baseball game, I paid for it big time. I again felt 80 yrs old....
A mom there had heard about my upcoming surgery from a friend and said "I'm having a colonoscopy at the the end of this week & I was crazy worried about that. Your surgery is REALLY major!" Then she realized what she said & apoligized... At least I made her feel somewhat better about her whole deal... We all would'nt admit it, but it helps when you find someone a bit worse off than yourself. Unfortunately, I'm the 'worse off' right now....auggghhh!
I think I'll take a deep breath & go back to being 'numb'. That's just the way I will deal with the next few months. Put my blinders on & trot straight ahead. ***Maybe I'm thinking about my Saturday 'Kentucky Derby party...pass the Mint Julips please.....................Ly
)

Blue Team/Sacrum...Red/L5...

Would'nt it be cool if all the curved people that had been fixed & staightened could meet at say a..convention center & show there before & after slides up on a big screen??? They could show their scars...and..tell crazy morphine stories while pressing the 'happy' button. Oh & even better, each person could wear a color coded paper on their back to show # of vertabrae fused... like blue= to the sacrum
red= to L5
yellow= L4
oh,oh,oh & then everyone could break into discussion groups by Thoracic on one side of the room & Lumbar on the other...just...a ..crazy..thought!