Why am I having doubts now???? All along I was positive this surgery was the answer....Is it just that I now have less than 3 months to go & am having cold feet already? Yes, I believe so......I keep picturing myself on the high dive with 10 people on the steps behind me saying...."Jump you idiot, it's your turn"........
Maybe it's because I really have been feeling ok lately. I can't say I've had any horrible pain...anywhere...besides a dull ache at bedtime...Maybe I'm all better & maybe...just maybe the curve has reversed itself from my positive concentration...!
Even eating has been easier & I have'nt had as much acid problems..
My husband asked again at dinner tonight if I have unbearable pain. Recently, I have to say "no". But I will feel bad again I'm sure....or will I? Why is he trying to bait me??? "You saw my x-rays, honey, they're horrible..." augghhhhh!!!
Oh well, I am trying to stay on the straight & narrow here but it ain't easy at all...time to get the boys in bed................Ly
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4 comments:
Hi Lynn,
I'm here awake again in the middle of the night.I know that this allergy problem is temporary, and we will get better. I just want to let you know that I've been praying for you. Maybe God is waking me up to pray for my friends. I want to leave a word of encouragement for you that comes from God: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus". Philipenses 4:5-7. I know it is hard to apply those words into practice, but if it's God's promise, it's true. Love, Silvana
I really like the symbolism of the child "falling" down the slide picture to the upcoming surgery. That's probably how your husband feels also, only he sees you all broken up at the end; not straightened out and on the road to healing like we really will be.
No, your pain may not be unbearable every moment right now but you are only in your 40's and will probably live another 40 years or so; you don't want to wait until it is. (Actually mine is pretty close to that point at 75 degrees.) The studies show better outcomes for scoliosis surgery when done before age 50. We are making the right choice to get this surgery, Lynn. I know that your husband will support you when the time comes.
Deb
I went through this one too Lynne. I kept saying to myself that I was OK and I really didn't need the surgery but I'd signed up for it so I jumped off the high board. This weekend I saw lots of people I haven't seen for a while and they can't belive how much better I am. Now I really am starting to feel better I would say just have faith that the angels will carry you down gently and the water will be great!
thks for your comments---I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster...some days you're up...some days your're don.....Ly
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