much better....

All I can say tonight is THANK GOD for TYLENOL PM......LY

Help is on the way?? (I really hope so)

I now notice that I post more entries when my back hurts. I am extremely sore today. A continuation from yesterday... I was on my feet for 3 hours baking today & I should have known. Thank god for the heating pad! I hope I'm better tomorrow. Days like this I know I need these upcoming operations but I am tired of trying to be brave. I'm scared out of my mind.....& everything hurts .........

lip balm, bendy straws & gas-x?

On cleaning up the house this morning I find mini basketballs, plastic golf balls, marbles in the den. Somehow, they rolled out of the playroom early this morning...We probably have a thousand balls in the house not including the garage. Of course, that's what boys play with... This will be a good job for 2 boys to do this summer. They are supposed to put away their stuff every evening in the playroom before bedtime. Yeah, right.. Where is Super Nanny? I wish she could be here this summer. I could use her.. I can see me hobbling around this summer trying to go around the matchbox cars, crayons & BALLS!
I'm starting to think about stuff I'll need right after the operations. I will in no way forget lip balm, gas-x & bendy straws...the important stuff, right?? Thanks to the forum for that. Maybe I'll treat myself to some lip balm today!
On to pick out a paint color for the bedroom.........Ly

Picture of me with my guys.....ly

Keepin' busy.....

I have been so busy the last few days with baking! I must have made 15 biscotti loaves the other day. It's quite an experience being in a busy kitchen. I like the hurried atmosphere, it's invigorating. Perhaps I've found my place.
Doors seem to be opening up. I got a call from another gourmet shop that needs a chef(entry level) for 3 days a week. wow! I could become very busy. At least for a few more months... I'll learn what I can before my 'time off'. I also got a call back from Kessler Rehab. & they can use me for baking and visiting patients. I really think I would like that! I decided a while ago that I wanted to help in any way I could with people recovering from operations & such. Funny how we are led down a certain path.....

Chocolate Cake

I had a great weekend! I will be baking again tomorrow so I worked on a couple different desserts. Unfortunately, my chocolate cake recipe from The Culinary Institute Cookbook was not to die for... The icing was to die for not the cake. What did I do wrong?? The cake was'nt as moist as it should be...
So Bill is trying to help me put some pictures on here. Maybe soon.... Which would be better, chocolate cake creations or x-rays of my spine??? I'll take the chocolate cake!

home made granola...........

I woke up today with this horrible cold which was passed on from the boys. I had some coffee & made my own granola & somehow that stuff always makes me feel better. Must be the honey & cranberries in it. I think I'll start putting some pictures in this blog. I would much rather put my food creations in here than spine x-rays. Maybe I'll eventually change this to a food blog.....
I got the my dates for testing & pre-op for June & July. Do I feel better about that??? Yes! I just feel better with everything on the calendar. I think the office already has me down as a pain in the Ass patient.. already...
You know that guy on Miracle Workers (abc)?? I looked up his name it's Redmond Burke. He's actually a real Doctor... He comes walking into the surgery room in a beautiful suit. Wow!!! He'd certainly make me smile...................Ly

Patience..I say...

I think I have been handling all this surgery stuff fairly well. Of course I think of it every day whether it be early morning or late at night but I don't dwell on it..
But today was different.. I don't know if it was the warm weather making me feel like spring here or just that I feel I've almost reached the halfway mark of waiting. Have patience, I say to myself..& myself says stick it! I always was a patient person but today I am not! I seem to want to rush thru the next few months & Just Get This Over With! But I really don't want to rush thru Spring & part of the Summer without thoroughly enjoying it..I do want time to prepare & get in shape. So let me summarize this: I want the next 4 months or so to get things together & enjoy my freedom to go where I want to, do what I want but I want the operation day after tomorrow...? YES! It's just the waiting that sucks! My cousin was so right!
I emailed the nurse today to try & set up the June testing day. I also asked her to see if the Doctor could just give me some clue as to where I'll be fused. I want to be an L-4 or I'll take an L-5 at the lowest...please... I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
I guess at this point, I just want to know I'm not just another number to be called in. I won't even see my Doctor until July 27th for the pre-op & questions which is 5 days before I go in.. I really -really want most all of my questions answered before then. Even if I give the nurse a headache.... that's the way I feel...no patience! Ly

things I'd like to do before surgery.......

Bill just told me I should read Atlas Shrugged while I'm recovering from surgery. auughhh! I know it's a great piece of work but I think I'll look for something a little shorter...thks Bill...

things I'd like to do before surgery:

1 go to the beach...alot...
2. go on the rollercoaster by the beach with my boys
3. go to France ( only in my dreams, but my niece is there so I can look at her pictures & live
vicariously thru her)
4. learn French
5. ride my bike to Jen's house...up hill...
6. ride my bike anywhere
7. see lots of baseball games..(too many..)
8. work in my garden for hours
9. rollerblade (yes, I'll wear my helmet, mom)
10 Drink lots of red wine...
11. go to many, many restaurants far & near
12 watch David Letterman monalogues
13. Drink lots of white wine...
14. Have Turkish food.....I never have
15. Go to Niagara Falls (Bill told me to put that in since that's where he's taking us...)
16. Go to Cooperstown,Ny on our way to Niagara Falls.. to see theBaseball Hall of Fame...everyone should see that before surgery(somehow I don't think that is for me) . Bill told me to put that in...

things I'd like to do after surgery this August...


1. Be thankful for my life..
2. sleep well..
3. walk well..without a walker...
4. laugh without hurting myself
5. learn french (I'll be fluent )
6. look at my beach pictures
7. play board games with my boys
8. walk downstairs, & out the back door to look at my garden & hummingbirds...
9. read...I have a long list...that's another countdown...
10. watch movies...I have a long list........that's another countdown...
11. stay positive...that should be #1
12. record David Letterman monologue to watch( when I can laugh without
hurting myself...)
13. rent some good comedy movies (ditto...)
14. send notes to all my family & friends for their support...

Spring...yet???

Is it Spring yet? I am so ready for it! I am ready to do my spring clean-up...ready to garden again...ready to rollerblade while the boys ride their bikes... ah, yes...
I have been once again consumed by cookbooks... This past weekend I made a tomato,onion& basil tart with my own tart shell. I was grinning from ear to ear on making that tart shell! I also made some chocolate cupcakes with chocolate icing from scratch & there are none left so they must have been good.
I am gearing up for my comfort food party on Friday...just a few couples, mind you, but I need to plan my menu.. It goes something like this: brisket in the crock pot with a brown sugar sauce, individual small beef bourginon pot pies/with puff pastry, shrimp scampi, & wings...oh & corn muffins.. I have been experimenting with desserts for weeks so something will stand out by weeks end...those cupcakes were good...
I really have not spent a lot of time thinking about my back..must not be hurting! Only thing I wonder is when the Doctor's office will send me my packet of information..I'm still on the early side but hey, by the end of March, I'll have only 4 mths to go?? I do have to confess that once again I had a dream(or nightmare) about waking up in surgery. There was no one there...where was everybody? So there that left me up with the birds this morning! I unfortunately can't control my subconscious..can I?! I do think of others that I have met from the forum who have had the surgery & are recooperating. I send them all my prayers & wish I could hug them all but that would hurt.. so I'll send them cyberhugs today (to Pips, Kat & Suzy in CA.) I can only guess what toll this all takes on the human body...& mind but don't let it take your souls!!!
Quote from Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet...And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy... page 52.............Ly