Time for My Make-over.....

Will be taking a bit of a break now from my 'therapy' writing...it has served me well! Now getting very close to my 'make-over' date! This journey has amazed me & made me strong!(I'll need the strength..mentally & physically)
Hubby will attempt to log on & write a few words when he is back.........
INHALE/EXHALE slowly & Breath...DEEP! Gotta keep repeating that the next few days.........
Time to click on the RAMONES-'"I Wanna Be Sedated" video..........

See ya........................................................................
to be continued.......soon....

PRE-OP: The rollercoaster ride continues...& almost stops in it's tracks..

I always feel my heart beating a bit faster when in New York City... it's such a rush! Harlem, Manhattan & then the East Side...
The first 'big' day has passed now & I'm tired, relieved & happy that it's over... It was a bit trying to say the least...
I did my deep breathing on the car ride over while my sister tried to keep our conversation on other things...was'nt easy though..
We got to our first appointment(scheduled for 10:30), at 9:30 giving us ample time to grab a muffin & coffee.. Then we marched upstairs & soon were called in by the Doctor who would do my general physical & consultation.. I thought this would be a piece of cake but she threw the red flag up early & my heart literally stopped........It started when she raised the questions on my family history & high blood pressure...& blood clots....Did anyone in the family have any occurrance of blood clots, she asked..?? My sister & I went blank for a minute or two
& then sis remembered that middle sis had a blood clot after the birth of my niece, her first child. The doctor said this needed to be investigated...several phone calls were made to middle sister & then to her gynocologist to get some kind of information on this blood clotting... The Doctor said my surgery might have to be rescheduled what with the extra blood work now needed to be sent to the lab to be reseached. We only had a few days before surgery to genetically test my blood for this clotting factor. I was baffled & hit hard! I felt like I was tackled on the 10 yard line....close to a touchdown.. I almost lost it but stayed as strong as I could. It was all out of my hands now....This Doctor was very thorough & kind & was looking out for my well being...I certainly did not need a blood clot to complicate a major surgery.. But I cringed at the 'hold up'. I just could'nt have this surgery postponed, everything was in place & I was ready. I was so ready to go....But she had the niciest shoes I had ever seen on a Doctor & I liked her & trusted her.
By an hour later, the fax came through from middle sis's gynocologist about the blood clotting. Seemed my niece's blood had been genetically tested for other reasons & she had this MTHFR factor of clotting so I then needed to be tested...
I was then sent to surgical-pretesting & many blood tests were added to the other tests(8 viles of blood in all) What an trip it was....
Even though I lost a bit of confidence at the first stop where I was flagged, I went on positively, to the next test site. It was my chest x-ray. It was quick & easy & I picked up lost time & Big sis & I ran on to my surgeon's office down the street only a 1/2 hour late....thank god I was here & I could inhale & relax..somewhat...but still this blood thing would have to be discussed with my surgeon to see if it would hold up the whole show.........................................................to be continued....Ly

Finishing up here: I got into a waiting room & in walked an intern (he was adorable) & got my x-rays up there & measured the curves again & asked a bunch of questions to report back to my surgeon......then my surgeon came in & asked some questions & said we needed bending x-rays to see how flexible I am...all I can say is "ouch" I felt like a contortionist... they bent me every which way..& I'm still sore! Back into the waiting room & the intern measures the new bending x-rays...& the
surgeon is back in to check it out...seems I get a C+ on flexibility since I'm pretty stiff at the 'big' lumbar curve so he proposes to go with 2 small rods to straighten the lumbar curve. In that case, he may hold off on going up to T-2,because there's not much curvature up high... if he can't move that curved part much, he has to go to plan 2 & use big rods & go all the way up to T-2 & basically take apart the whole spine....what??? Hey, I trust him, he's the man.....On the blood thing: he says they will take the blood clotting precautions anyway, this Tuesday so the 'show must go on'.......thank god,...amen.....& Exhale.........Ly

ps. forgot to mention: surgeon took before digitals of me & I asked him for some copies of them....so I can let you see my before shots.....

PRE-OP tomorrow......

Tomorrow is the first of 2 big days...Pre-op...
I feel like I've been bunkering down in my little home, safe & far from harm... I've been gardening & even put my white Christmas lights back on the arbor that leads to the backyard.. My husband rolled his eyes when he came home from work yesterday & saw my creative touch... When I come home from surgery, the days will definitely be getting noticeably shorter..even now they are....so I want to look at my pretty lights & watch those crazy little hummingbirds...
I have been sleeping but only till 3am or so the last few nights.....then I snooze downstairs on the couch while watching info-mercials & Becker re-runs(Ted Danson)...makes me laugh...
I have been calm, though & busy enough these last few days so no tears or panic attacks! Perhaps the forces above have sedated my brain a bit already...
Hardest thing I see in the next few days will be leaving my boys with my sister. Who knows when I will see them....ahh they will be in great hands....& at this point they look at it with excitement, another vacation at the beach.... I have gone out of my way to make them secure with all of this & keep them carefree. It's just to hug them tight & say good bye...well...it will be the hardest part of all this....but I will rise to the occasion, I just know I will...............Ly

Crazy & out of breath

This week is just about over...& I am feeling good but a bit overwhelmed with all I wish I could accomplish....I'm pretty much out of breath & almost out of time... It's such a wierd, wacky feeling to know by August I will be in a hospital bed barely moving... all very strange...
I'm on the verge of something 'big' happening... so I'm getting butterflies in my stomach already...anticipation of the largest kind...I can feel it all building inside me now day by day...mostly good feelings, I think...
Several friends have called me to do dinner, or brunch so my days have gotten very busy. My sisters & mom have been in touch frequently to check on my 'condition'. I'm trying to enjoy all the attention but on the other hand, it makes me a bit queasy...ahhhhhhh! Why do I still think my sister will be dragging me into this Pre-op appointment... Drug me now..please.......'I wanna be sedated'-remember that one by the Ramones?? 20, 20, 24 hours to go......had to just play it on the computer right now...I better bookmark it & play it the night before......... http://youtube.com/watch?v=wMD7Ezp3gWc

What a ride it's been.....

I was out in the yard pulling weeds by deep knee bending... not easy at all! Just practicing & getting my old knees ready! I was looking over my old posts that I made back at the start of this blog & thinking how far I've come on this journey! What a rollercoaster ride of emotions it's been....Now I have a week to go before Pre-op & then it's my turn...
Today I feel as ready as I'll ever be, I guess...I really just hope & pray I'll be as good, mentally, next week as I am this week....One can never tell... I'm just going with the 'flow' as best I can...
I just want to thoroughly enjoy my garden in deep summer now...I want to pull weeds, divide some June flowering perennials and watch my hummingbirds zip around the feeder... I'm hoping the boys stay as mellow as they have been(not too many band-aids this summer....)
There are some days that I wish I could push this all back a month now that it's lingering so close but I'm sure it's a normal feeling...
I guess it's time to go back outside & smell the lavender with the bees & enjoy deep summer...Ly

Last Blood Donation......oh no..here we go....!

So this morning was my last blood donation & I'm so glad... Everyone at the hospital was really nice but I've just had enough of pumping out blood if you know what I mean....
Ok so I feel the best I have felt through this whole process...I'm sleeping great.. I'm having fun everyday...I'm eating healthy....staying positive about this whole thing....& I'm not over thinking it....I think!
I just can't believe I have about 2 weeks to go now.....I do think my mind is blocking all scary stuff out for now....so who knows what I'll be like at Pre-op? I certainly don't...Ly

Drivin' to the Jersey Shore........

Finally......today we get to see the ocean...feet in the sand, boogie boards & all.......ahhhh...the Jersey Shore........Ly

silly but true....

I know this sounds silly, & perhaps it is...but I'm really gonna miss my shovel & metal rake...& wheelbarrow....I see them sitting at the corner of my yard... ahhhhha! so..I'll have to live vicariously thru the young landscapers who will do this stuff in the future.................! Ly

getting organized.....somewhat???

Ok, with about 3 weeks to go now, I have to get somewhat organized...not an easy task for me....
I have my drawers ready..clothes I think I'll need after surgery in the top couple drawers....
cd's I want to take to the hospital with me....
good pair of shoes/sandals to take...
Gas-ex..gotta buy & I can't forget...
nice light weight sweats/like pajamas...1 pair..
new sneakers for the boys so they are set for the next month or so...
haircut...soon..
teeth repair...!!!
Keep the house up but believe me, with 2 boys & husband here for 10 days without me it will look like hell anyway....ahhh!
New lamp for my bedroom. I hate the old one....don't want to stare at it when I'm stuck in my room for days...
new vacuum.....my mother hates my old one which keeps falling apart....
Ly

Pre-op 'secret' thoughts.....

Here are a few questions that I'll be thinking at pre-op but won't ask...ok maybe I might jokingly ask #1 but come on, would'nt you want to know??!!

1. What are you doing the night before my surgery....(no parties, I hope...)
2. What are you eating the night before my surgery. . ....
3. Do you play music in the operating room
4. what color is the operating room? It's always olive green in my dreams
5. Who takes my organs out & puts them back.. please don't have them drop my intestines, I've had that dream too.
6. How young is the intern working with you on me?? Am I his/her first case?
& 7. May I either scream or hug you at pre-op depending on my mood at the time...........................................................................Ly

Another Lighthouse....

The CN Tower, Toronto, Canada....

I really should have gone up to the top of this! I had a ticket but backed out at the last minute...what can I say? I was all ready to go up but when that elevator opened up & a lot(I mean a lot) of tourists piled in, I bugged out! The elevator had a glass floor so you could see all the way down. Am I now sad I did'nt go??? No way!!!!!!!!!!
More Blood tomorrow so I having a big steak tonight.
About 3 weeks to go till my surgery date, so I'm making every moment count..Ly

Giving blood means I'm almost ready to go????

Ok so I had my first blood donation yesterday.. I was a tiny bit nervous about it but it really was a piece of cake...The technician did explain to me I must keep my Iron up since it has to be above 11 for blood to be taken & I was 12.9 this time... Only thing that really bothered me last night was how tight the bandage was around my arm.. geez, I felt like it was affecting my circulation...& sun of a gun, when I finally took it off I could breath better & my chest stopped hurting...
Ok. so we do it again next Monday & the one after & then I'm ready & waiting at that point for surgery...
At this point, I am still on my vacation high & mostly happy & carefree. Still I had some scary thoughts this morning riding to the grocery store. I had to slip in my Lettermen CD, (Someday & Summerplace songs) again to calm me... & it worked, thank god........................LY

Toronto & Rogers Stadium...Go Blue Jays!!!

We all took a vote & this room view had to be the best we've ever had.... We could watch the whole game (which we did) from our room with room service, of course!!! The next night we went to the game which literally took us 5 minutes to get to our seats... I lasted 4 innings in those uncomfortable seats & proceeded back to our room where I could easily catch the rest of the game in a most comfortable hotel chair--yeah!!!! The boys could wave to me so all was good...
The highlight of our stay there was my son yelling to the National's center fielder, Myron Byrd to throw him up a ball while practicing... Myron attempted 3 times & bingo, we got a ball on the third throw up. What an amazing arm he has...went into our opened window & rolled to the bathroom....definitely the highlight of our Toronto stay!!!! We are still Yankee fans but Myron is our new favorite player on any team...Go Washington Nationals...Ly ps. yes the Blue Jays, the home team, were awesome too!!! They won both evenings....

Niagra Falls... & our great room view....

I have'nt been to Niagra Falls since I was 18... We had a cool view overlooking the falls....the boys loved it!!! Maid of the Mist was a given & we got soaked as should be...

What I did on my summer vacation in Cooperstown,NY.

Was there enough baseball cards in Cooperstown, NY??? Oh man, did my boys enjoy the Baseball Hall of Fame. It was fun for all just don't expect to sit down anywhere in the building. Lots of rooms & very few benches. Except outside. There was plenty there but the rains were wicked & kept us content in the Hall of Fame for a few hours... Cooperstown was cuter than I expected but wet...I have never seen so many middle-aged dads & sons in baseball attire.. very cute... very all- american..